I often find myself looking back and wondering what the hell was wrong with me. Anyone who spent time with me as a child and adolescent witnessed me not being good to people. If you could imagine the world’s worst toddler temper tantrum and then multiply that by 10, you’d get me.
I’m not sure what it was about my upbringing, maybe the combination of a temperamental father and submissive mother, but I was a total brat–moody, demanding, ungrateful and plain mean. And I wasn’t all the time, of course. I was a generally whacky, outgoing, and happy gal. But if things didn’t go my way, if I ever felt attacked, I flipped the switch so quick I saw red and didn’t look back.
Thankfully my parents made it a point to shower me in love, support, and all that they could offer me. They pushed me to get educated, and be successful, and to always follow my heart in the process. I’m thankful for that every day. As I grew up and became more educated on people, myself, my dreams, and life in general, I started to let go of the spite and anger I threw at people. I started to let go of resentment I held towards my parents, my siblings, friends, boyfriends, etc. I took responsibility for
my choices and actions and looked towards living in as productive a way as possible.
Fast forward to 2017 and I’m here to tell you that so far in my 24 years on this planet, the most important thing that I’ve realized is that we need to be good to one another–always. Ironic coming from me? Maybe, because I was the mean girl who screamed at her mother in public and started rumors about girls in high school. But I’m able to look back on those malicious things I said and did to people and say wholeheartedly that I was wrong–that I was reacting from a place selfishness and insecurity. That I wanted to hurt people because I was feeling hurt. When I understood that only I had the power to influence my emotions, I became empowered. And empowered people have no reason to be hurtful to others.
But to this day I can get angry, and I can say things I don’t mean in the heat of the moment. But one thing is different–my heart is always in accordance with the understanding that my perspective is not the only one. And I think if you can master that truth, then you will be genuinely good to all people you meet. And the more that people begin to understand this, the more we will understand each other–the more we will learn and grow and discover new ideas, perspectives and beliefs. We will only open up possibilities if we open up our hearts.
- Let go of your pride–try to see things from all perspectives
- Accept responsibility for your emotions
- React to upsetting situations with the intention of remedying them
- Don’t take things so personally
- Be good to people